My mantra Love Trust Gratitude Healing came to me in a moment of despair. I had lost the ability to walk then found out I had cancer in my blood. I spent a week knowing I had cancer but no confirmation what kind. It was an extremely challenging week because frankly all the evidence implied I would be dead soon very soon. I got my affairs in order and waited for my first appointment at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance the following week.
I hung in there for the most part but at the end of the week, lying in bed, l had a panic attack when I suddenly got it in my head that I was dying right then and there. In my panic I stopped breathing nearly passing out before my wife intervened and got me breathing again. I was shocked how easily my mind could go into a negative spiral and create havoc. As I laid there feeling embarrassed and completely ridiculous the words Love Trust Gratitude and Healing appeared in my mind and I latched on repeating them immediately in the order they arrived: Love Trust Gratitude Healing (LTGH). I felt a sense of calm come over me I had found something to hang on to and cultivate as I went forward into the uncertainty of my cancer diagnosis.
Eventually, I came to realized these words were a gift and meditating on them I came to understand they contained a profound truth of life. It’s not a mistake that Love came first because everything great in life follows Love. I found that getting cancer was an opportunity to deepen my love and for the first time in my life truly love myself. Everything flows out of love. You cannot Trust without Love. As my Love expanded and deepened so did my Trust. The same thing happened with Gratitude. I had become so grateful for everything in my life. Healing I came to realize is the result of nurturing Love, Trust and Gratitude. The gift I had received was Healing. I discovered that the four words that floated into my head after my panic attack were actually a true statement: Love+Trust+Gratitude=Healing. As I say in my memoir Love Trust Gratitude Healing: Turning a Battle into a Dance and making Peace with Cancer the healing can be spiritual, emotional and even physical. If you find yourself in a major confrontation in life such as cancer and your mind is caught speculating in fear meditating on LTGH may be what you need. They helped me I hope they help you.